It’s December 24, and I find myself thinking about Santa’s Elves, the unsung heroes of Christmas.
No offense to the big guy, but the Elves really get short-changed on credit for Christmas morning bounty and a solid year of hard work.
Ask kids where they got their favorite presents and they’ll always say, “From Santa!”
It’s never, “Santa brought it, but look at the Elves’ handiwork!!” Nope, the Elves don’t even get an assist. Not being tall enough to play regulation basketball, they may not even know what that is.
Even worse, others actually take credit for what the Elves have done. Somehow, representatives of major corporations slip in after Santa has delivered toys and stick labels on them that say things like “Mattel,” “Hasbro,” “Tonka” and “Hanky Panky Toys Thailand.” Because Elves are humble by nature, they’d never think of branding or advertising their work. However, it’s rumored that a few moonlight as paper bag inspectors. I hear inspectors “37” and “Bill” are actually Elves. Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone.
They’re also incredibly clever and go to great lengths to delight you. Whenever you see them depicted, they’re always doing things like hammering pieces of wood or dressing a simple rag doll. This is just for show. They’re actually making high-tech robots, graphite skateboards and dolls with artificial intelligence that can have a conversation with you AND use the bathroom by themselves! The Elves do this because they don’t want you to know what you’re getting. It’s a surprise.
So, when you leave milk and cookies out for Santa tonight, don’t forget about the Elves. They love celery sticks with peanut butter and mini quiches.
Note: None of Santa’s Elves were harmed in the creation of this blog entry, and any likeness to any other elf, real or imaginary, including Will Farrell, is purely coincidental. All rights reserved. Patents pending.
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